This might be working too well..

I haven't been posting many of my attempts to open up but you can be sure I've been working hard on it. In fact I'm pretty sure I've been doing too well at this self inflicted task.

Like most people I enjoy eating out every now and then. By default of being roommates I usually end up going with my sister. After several outings we start to wonder how it looks to outsiders. When you look around noticing most of those around you are couples, you wonder "Do we look like a gay couple?" This question had been weighing on my mind for some time. One night when we were at Chilis, we were admiring our good looking server when Elizabeth posses the question "Do you think he thinks we are gay?" I couln't take it anymore. I, the ever so shy Ms Rebecca Wood, asked him point blank "Do we look like a gay couple?" After a very puzzled look, lots of explaining, and a large tip I walked away with a sense of relief... and shock that I had gathered enough courage to do that. Needless to say I still have yet to show my face there again.

Attempt to open up #6

As my sisters know, I don't ever ever EVER enter photo contests. I loath the idea of losing!!! So with me trying to open myself up more I did what I said I'd never do. I entered a photo contest. It's a small potato one, with our local paper. I've been pretty anxious about it. If you are reading this before August 1 I'd really appreciate your support!! You can vote once a day every day so please if you do vote multiple times... and tell everyone else to vote! Here is the link and the picture I submitted:

http://hjnews.upickem.net/engine/Votes.aspx?PageType=VOTING&contestid=33383#SubmissionDisplay

Attempt to open up #5

Ok this one is a hard one for me to put out there on the world wide web. Did you know that one in four American women deal with hair loss? Ladies and gentlemen, I'm one of them :( It's been so depressing feeling my hair get thinner and thinner. I can't complain too much, I started out with extremely thick hair. I'm tremendously grateful for that right now, because of being born with thick hair my hair loss isn't too noticeable unless you know about it and look closely. This is no exaggeration, my hair is about 1/3 of what it use to be. I decided to get it taken care of it before it gets worse. Now is a good time, where I don't have a family of my own, my finances are a bit freer.

A couple weeks ago I went to a hair loss clinic in Salt Lake. The lady had a microscope picture taker thingy and took pictures of my scalp/hair. She told me that in the front (where I would have bangs if my hair wasn't thinning out) I've had about a 30% hair loss. On the top towards the back I've had a 60% hair loss. Good news is they can help me!! I've been going to Salt Lake 3 times a week to get laser treatment. It's a cool laser that stimulates blood flow and opens up the follicles. I took the picture above before my first treatment so I can see a before and after. It may sound all kookie, but it works! Ive got annoying new hair growth sticking up from my head at about two inches (and that's only two weeks in). The stupid things won't lay flat no matter what I do, and I'm soooo thankful to see them!! Who knew I'd be so happy to see fly aways?! I'll continue this treatment till the end of the year. I'm hopeful that there will be enough thickening that I'll be able to have bangs in about October. I'm also taking a vitamin they gave me that makes my hair grow faster, I think my dream of October is realistic. Hopefully you'll see a post then with my new look!!

Attempt to open up #4

Ok I figured it was pass time for me to post. This attempt to open up is to admit... I'm not the best with finances. I want to be and I think I've been making strides to be in the right spot. For example these cherries I took pictures of were $10... I bought them twice before I realized how much I was paying. I'm going to start paying closer attention. At least I got some pictures out of the expense :)

Attempt to open up #3

Ok so when a particular topic comes up I struggle being graceful. I always want to add the infamous "But...." It's hard not to add a b"ut" onto a statement when you don't fully agree or you would like to clarify you're full position on the topic. Because I struggle so much at leaving the statement as is, I think it's important that I do exactly that if I'd like to be more open. This is a growing experience. I'm even going to do my best not to think about the "but" after I type the statement. Just stop at the period. So here goes....

Deep breath...

I am a talented photographer... the end.

Beautiful View from my office...

Ok this post isn't for my opening up project. I am just really proud to be a Gossner employee today. There has been many times I've seen these trucks come in. Dolores (Owner/CEO) is a very generous woman! I'm so lucky and bless to have my job!!

Oh dear...

Attempt to open up #2

I am so grateful for my friend Kristi! I'm able to say things to her that I wouldn't say to anyone else. So I'm going to share one of those things, probably shouldn't but here it goes. (Back story over the last year I have unfortunately put on a little more weight) I had just gotten done eating lunch about half an hour before I sent Kristi the text. Due to not being the same size as when I bought the pants they were a little snug. I wasn't in the greatest of moods and didn't want to deal with that uncomfortableness so I did something about it. My text to Kristi said "Today I'm grateful for lab coats that I can wear while my pants are undone and no one can know.... while eating m&ms out of the pockets" It's nice to have a friend that will respond laughing instead of judging. But I realized that even though I can share these idiosyncrasies of mine with her I'm not that open with her. She doesn't know my real personality. She sees me as the quiet friend with good insight and once in awhile sees a bit of dry humor.

I've got a lot of work to do...

Time to get down to business...

So I have officially decided what I want to do with this blog and I need all ya all's help (since I have such a large audience reading this ;)

I have decided I want to be a more open person. I know this might be a shock to you but I'm pretty darn quiet and with drawn in social situations. In high school a couple friends called me "Bubble Girl". I've built some pretty high thick walls and it's past time for them to come down. Not sure how this process is going to happen I just know it needs to.

Being the way I have hasn't helped a darn person and that's just a crime. I'm sure I've got something somewhere in me to offer this world. No one is put here just to take up space right? Time to figure out what my talents are and to not be afraid of them. Any ideas on how to help are more than welcome!!

Watch out world this is the beginning...

Attempt to be more open #1:

I am scared to death of failure. It's actually really debilitating. I won't start projects or finish them because I don't want to screw it up. Years ago I started a painting for my grandma of a hibiscus flower. It doesn't look too bad at this point. All I have left to do on it is paint the stamen and I haven't been able to do it because it'll make or break the picture. I really don't want to screw it up! I know all this sounds silly but it makes sense in my mind. I love photography and thoroughly enjoy all parts of the process but am so timid on taking pictures of people because it's never "perfect".